Spring has not sprung here like I am used to. Instead it has crept in slowly making the trees green here and there, sprinkling a few yards with early blossoms, and making the little creatures around all twitterpated. It looks like the warm days and warmer evenings are here to stay so I think Spring has arrived in its full force. The forecast looks good so Honey brought the little seedlings of tomatoes, peppers, and herbs out of the comfort of his home office and into the scary world of the back deck. So far everyone is looking perky and will hopefully give us some yummy veggies.
We wavered for a while on if we should plant anything right now because we are renting and we don’t have the same unrestricted freedoms that we had with our house back West. But after we settled in and started getting into our new version of our routine we realized that gardening and growing our own vegetables has now been written in ink to our routine. Honey has picked up the torch on the gardening more than I have, I still feel like I can’t touch anything in our back yard (though it so desperately needs it). I guess it has to do with my ignorance of the climate or not knowing how the sun will shine on the yard or what kinds of things need to be kept around to keep the North Carolina clay soil in check. I’m starting to feel more at home here so I suspect I will out staining my clothes in the dirt soon enough.
For a while a rejected any kind of settling into this house because I knew it was only temporary. I also began looking at it for all of the faults of the house rather than its positives, I think this was some weird subconscious thing with the moving and selling of the house that I had put a lot of myself into. Don’t get me wrong I was and am on board with our move and selling the house, but I guess I was not ready to put as much of myself into our home (for now). I guess I also expected that I could run this house like a well oiled machine quickly, because I had at the old one. This was not the case. We started from scratch on a lot things such as furniture and even things like our pantry items. I tried my best to find the stuff we used and what we needed but there was always something I realized we were missing later. It seriously took me four weeks to notice that we did not have any flour in the house and of course it came at the worst possible moment (making cookies). I think those are the moments when you realize you’re not in your version of home anymore and you have start over. I also finally agreed to get a small table and chairs, because the ottoman dinning was not cutting it for us. It has made the breakfasts and dinners much more relaxing and has kept off that damn TV off more.
So I guess I am letting the place feel more like home, but not forcing it into any narrow constraints. Over the weekend while Honey moved the seedlings into their “big boy” pots I sat out our lawn and read, I never did that at our old house-there was always something else to do even when we sat back relaxing. As I sat there listening to the carpenter bees buzzing pass me and birds chirping everywhere, I got this strange multiple flashback of the Aviary at the San Diego Zoo and sitting out on the field in elementary school reading during lunch. I think the Aviary sprung to mind because that was the only other place I heard that many different types of birds together at once, it almost echoes here there are so many birds. As for the elementary flashback I can only think that I haven’t spent enough time sitting in the grass as an adult. These two experiences, separated by decades melded together in a way that made me appreciate the moment I was in as unique feeling because while they reminded me of past experiences I was only taking tiny tastes of my past to help me get the bearings on my present. Once I did, I stopped seeing the backyard as this unknown miscellaous place and saw it as my home.
I’ll get the hang of it here someday, the Spring is helping.